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The Complete Guide to Everything

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The Complete Guide to Everything
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Now displaying: 2011
Dec 25, 2011

This week, Tom is very enthusiastic about some good deeds he's performed and Tim is beaten down by a trip to the mall. Then we talk about Kim Jong Il's golfing prowess, dissect more claims made by the deceased crazy person, and Tom contemplates taking a trip to North Korea.

Dec 19, 2011

A frank discussion of what type of wine to bring to a holiday party, a genius idea for a make your own wine label store, plugs for live shows in New York City and London, and we count down the Top 10 Christmas Songs of all time while writing our own new, instant classic. Do you have loved ones? Are you buying them gifts for the holidays? Make sure you do it through TCGTE.com/Amazon to help support the show!

Dec 11, 2011

This week we talk about Santa Claus! We discuss not letting your kids listen to this show, the history of Santa Claus, the times we each discovered a little secret about Santa, sending mail by burning it in a fireplace, eight legged horses and the logic of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We also solve a problem for somebody who made an unfortunate choice of university.

Dec 5, 2011

Tom pulls an amateur laundry tipping move, Tim reminisces about The Real World San Francisco (again) and we go through the top gifts you can buy for any asshole on your list from the SkyMall catalogue.

Nov 27, 2011

Tim and Tom discuss their upcoming NYC Live Show on December 30th and then get right into the Muppets. Topics include being afraid of Muppet enthusiasts, Tim's childhood fears of Muppets coming alive in his room, Tom's Jim Henson college stories, OJ Simpson's ill-advised pranks, the sad fate of trench coats and Fraggle Rock as an antidote to laser-shooting robots. Also, theories are discussed regarding a college professor who places a lot of importance on snacks.

Nov 21, 2011

Tim rides a bike way further than his body was willing to take him in the name of charity and Tom attends the theater in this week's episode: Cranksgiving / Sleep No More.

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Nov 14, 2011

This week we cover Tom's continuing Batman-related depression, tales of playground cowardice, the mistaken belief that Zooey Deschanel is attainable and irritatingly opportunistic crooners. We also tackle a New York Times article about a fool, receive an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at a listener's house and solve a risqué problem.

Nov 6, 2011

This week we discuss Tim's new tell-all book, bringing your own bread to a deli, Tom losing out on the role of a lifetime in The Dark Knight Rises, setting up booby traps for marathon runners and we solve a young woman's problems with meeting men.

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Oct 30, 2011

This week we go through the millions of emails we receive from our loyal listeners. They ask us for advice, correct our many mistakes, provide more information on topics from previous episodes and give us slow cooker recipes. We also talk about annoying questions at Halloween parties, calling into radio shows and fighting with the hosts, strange radio shows that report on children's playground gossip and we try to coordinate a podcast dinner party with all of our listeners.

Oct 24, 2011

Tom reviews the new Batman Arkham City, Batman Goggles, Tim's Homeschooling, sexy smock Halloween costumes, poisoned Halloween candy, celebrating Halloween as a responsible adult, a tragic Pepper the House Horse update, befriending bums and Tim's call for recipes.

Oct 16, 2011

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! This week we talk about the all things zombies including The Walking Dead, World War Z, real life Haitian zombies and how we'd fare in the zombie apocalypse. And also: using this podcast as torture, overtipping jerk baristas, dating habits of the petite and the last episode of M*A*S*H.

Oct 12, 2011

This week, Tom and Laugh-A-Minute Bill Barnaby pay tribute to Steve Jobs and celebrate his legacy. Also covered: KB Toys vs. Toys R Us, racist Commodore 64 games, prank calling the Home Shopping Network instead of going on spiritual journeys to India, using a computer with a weird cassette tape drive, doctors chopping their own salads, Tom's ill-fated trip to the doctor's office and seeing your pediatrician when you're 20 years old.

Oct 3, 2011

Musings on Two and a Half Men, the importance of nice buns, the scam behind McDonald's Monopoly game, Tom's heartbreaking tale of childhood loneliness, Tim almost sacrifices his life for the best hamburger in NYC, plus we solve some problems with girlfriend friends and 80s sax songs.

Sep 26, 2011

Tales of rich lady pizzeria haggling, Tom willing to pay exorbitant prices for Back to the Future Nike Air Mags, selfish notions of wishing NYC was grittier, the Ark of the Covenant being a nuclear device, nuclear explosions thousands of years ago, Ancient Volcanos and some advice about sending us drunk emails in the middle of the night.

Sep 19, 2011

This week we discuss a possible Jeopardy conspiracy, book festivals vs. comic book conventions, punching people in the back of the head and getting pantsed in Junior High. Also, we also discuss a particular type of a**hole we didn't realize existed until the New York Times pointed it out to us, with some controversy.

Sep 12, 2011

It's Back to School time kids! This week we cover the types of products Amazon.com sells, old people with face tattoos, the cruelness of back to school marketing, moving to college, Trapper Keepers vs. iPads, Tom attempting to start a bar brawl and pencil cases.

Sep 4, 2011

This week we talk about weddings and whatnot. We'll discuss how much cursing is acceptable in a best man toast, what to do if you forget the bride's name at a wedding, and why not to wear an $85 tuxedo to the next wedding you attend. Also, Tom dreams about personal helicopters, Tim has written a lot more songs than you'd expect and the two of them give some relationship advice in another installment of Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems.

Aug 29, 2011

Shredder technology, NYC Earthquake, local news reporters, drug tests, Sade Baderinwa is a compulsive liar, hipster hurricane survival, rats coming out of the toilets, Hog Island, government controlling the weather.

Aug 21, 2011

This week Tim and Tom struggle to keep up with the Kardashians, who generally confuse them more than anything else. Also, Tim desperately needs glasses but won't wear them because he got a bad haircut, Tom has a question about urinals, Tim makes the wrong choice when making a citizen's arrest and Back to the Future guru Tom talks about recent BTTF origin stories.

Aug 14, 2011

This week Tom mulls over where to go during his week of from the mill. Destinations considered include vigilantism in Pittsburgh, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Clooneying a North Carolinian Town, or staying in a capsule hotel in Tokyo. Chinese factories, Tim's new intro man, pre-selling your possessions in case of death and The Bug Light/Complete Guide to Everything Party Cruise are also discussed.

Aug 8, 2011

Prepare to get cultured this week! Tim and Tom discuss museums of all kinds, including several that don't exist but should. We also go over our recent NYC live show, and explain why it wasn't recorded (WHOOPS!). Also, we talk about hobos using libraries, Tom's bloody video games, Tim's explicit music purchases and we solve a problem for a Canadian moving to New York.

Aug 1, 2011

Tim Accuses Tom of Being Bimbo, Playboy at the library, Zillions, Weird Legal Drugs, Tim Explains How The Show Works and Who The Yankees Are For Those Who Do Not Like Baseball, Literally Giving Your Life for Derek Jeter, Tim's Conversation with Bobby Abreu, A Lord of the Ring-esque Journey for Better Seats, Alex Trebek: Vigilante?, T&T Solve a Problem with a Methhead Yard Sale Customer, Another Plug for the NYC Live Show and a Brief Discussion of When People Started to Hate Gwyneth Paltrow.

Jul 24, 2011

It's a heat wave! Listen to Tim and Tom debate the merits of the heat index, talk about experiences with morons in pizza places and encourage everyone to bring an escort to the NYC Live Show on August 4th. Also, Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, returns with a listener who has a severe cat urine problem.

Jul 17, 2011

Netflix outrage, AT&T's futuristic creepy phone booths, the promise of Epcot Center, Grandfathering, Planking, Balconies, Owling, Tim Meets the World's Smallest Woman, Tom Insults Astronauts, Pat Sajak's Secret Agenda, Derek Jeter's Baseball Soup, North Korean Women's Soccer Team Hit By Lightning, Crime Corner: Prison Porn and Lactation as a Weapon

Jul 11, 2011

Who doesn't love swimming pools? Evildoers, that's who. This week, Tim and Tom discuss everybody's favorite summer pastime, sitting around in filthy pools of water. Tom talks about his many heroic saves as a lifeguard and Tim speaks about his recent car accident and the old man on the street who put a spell on him.

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