Have you all been following the latest celebrity gossip? No? That's okay, because this week Tim and Tom get you all caught up on what you need to know about the brightest stars in all of showbiz. From Snooki's new baby to Lance Armstrong's fall from grace, there is literally no other place on the internet to hear about celebrities and their exploits. One would think that a fertile topic like celebrity news would be well covered on various blogs and news sites, but we checked, and it turns out that this podcast is the only place to hear about it.
Well, actually, first Tim has some gripes about a fellow diner at a recent brunch and Tom has a story about some B-list celebs at a terrible product launch. But then we get right to the boldface names and deliver the Hollywood gossip you crave!
Oh, actually before that we have another installment of our new segment "Fifty Shades of Tim," in which Tom explains the plot of a certain popular smutty book to Tim, two chapters at a time. But then it's time for some gossip!
But that's not all! In this super-sized episode, we answer a listener's query about a pot smoking father in our Peabody Award winning segment "Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems" and then reveal next week's topic and ask for your help in preparing for it.
We can all agree that one of the biggest fears in the civilized world is falling from an elevator right? This week in one of their rare times Tim and Tom actually saw each other outside the podcast, they found themselves stuck inside a berserk elevator that refused to let them out for 30 minutes, all the while toying with their fear of imminent death.
This week Tom also discusses the many previously unknown widows he has, a frank discussion on the non-sexual feats that "doggy-style" should refer to and how easy it is to eat 40 Chicken McNuggets everyday when you're 17 years old. We also mark the first in many installments of a new segment titled 'Tom Explains Fifty Shades of Grey to Tim'.
Look, if you have any chance of getting ahead in this world, you're probably going to have to work for free for some jerks for a year or two, getting their coffee, opening their mail and, more often than not, kissing them on the mouth once or twice. In this episode, we share our internship experiences which should give you a good idea of how not to approach your own internships.
Listen to hear Tim talk about the record label he interned at getting sold halfway through his work there, resulting in two months of fetching beer for sad people who were about to be unemployed. Also, Tom talks about possibly almost getting killed by the police during a misunderstanding on the set of America's Most Wanted.
We also talk about how flirting with strangers on the subway is like playing the board game "Perfection", dirty movies that only involve kissing and we solve a listener's problem regarding making new friends as an adult.
On next week's episode we'll be discussing the literary sensation and all-around pile of garbage, Fifty Shades of Grey. So if you want to follow along at home, be sure to pick up that book this week and give it a good, filthy reading.
This week we talk: Splitsider Podcast Network! Then we talk about Vampires, Draculas, Greek mythology, peaking at bar trivia night, Romania, finding out that vampire people don't like Twilight, Paul Simon's Graceland as a characterature of African music, Tim accuses Tom of being into vampires, Tom's cloak budget, vampires being the result of the internet not being around, erogenous zones, True Blood, elaborate nude puppets, using virgin boys and stallions to find vampires in a graveyard, shooting a bullet through a casket, severing tendons, guessing how horrible Romania is and full of sad ice cream trucks, putting a head between your butt, Casper never forgets, poppy seeds and sand and OCD, swamp things, un-undead, resistant cases, being afraid of someone choking on their own vomit and having to turn them over, making sure people don't become vampires and also not killing them, saxons just put a lemon in your mouth, burying Tim alive, why vampires can't come in unless you invite them, vampires are anxious, tasting your own blood, how hard it would be to put a stake through someone's heart, Tom names all the erogenous zones, crashing funerals with your dogs, a follow-up on Bozo the clown at the Williamsburg italian festival, Tim reveals his secret childhood desire to be a clown, a problem where a guy wants to move out to marry his girlfriend but is worried about what will happen to his roommate, before talking more about Splitsider.