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The Complete Guide to Everything

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Now displaying: February, 2013
Feb 25, 2013

Tim starts off by promising this will be an all karaoke episode but quickly loses interest and begins discussing the harmonies in Neil Young songs at detail instead. Instead the guys decide to do an all Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems to officially open the gates for listeners to send in their problems for the upcomingNew York City and European shows in March. The first problem is a follow-up from Terrence, who previously wrote in to complain about not being able to attract girls as easily now that he works for a non-profit. Now he wants to know how to make friends as a single man in his 30s. This of course leads to a discussion of old grizzled surfer guys, the time Tim did a 360 on a boogie board and the time he almost killed himself trying to surf. Tom explains the difference between wet suits and dry suits and Tim's parents buy a young Tim a custom-made bootleg Scottie Pippin jersey.

Lastly Tim and Tom solve Katrina's problem concerning her male BFF systematically working his way through all of her friends' pants and Carolyn asks us to solve her problem concerning the return of The Office DVDs lent to a friend a long time ago.

Feb 17, 2013

This week we talk about the latest terrifying meteor and asteroid events that made us all think that we might possibly die suddenly and without warning at any time. We also discuss NASA's starting lack of telescopes, the difference between an asteroid and a meteor and why Fred Flintstone was kind of a jerk.

Also, Tim tells a tale of an aggressive truck driver who might be tracking him down to do him harm, we announce a New York live show (March 1st at UCB East) and we hear from someone on the "inside" at McDonald's who we plan to get special information from.

This week's episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check them out at www.mailchimp.com.

Feb 11, 2013

This week, we go further down the McDonald’s rabbit hole and discuss the strange case of the Arch Deluxe, a hamburger marketed towards adults, and how kids everywhere thought that this pepper- flavored burger might convince their parents to eat fast food seven nights a week. We also talk about the brief history of hot dogs at the Golden Arches, which were banned for being “unhygienic” and debate whether or not Chicken Selects are available across the United States. (By the way, if your local McDonald’s sells Chicken Selects, take a picture and send an email to thecompleteguidetoeverything@gmail.com so that Tim can win his $1,000 bet with Tom.)

We spend a good amount of time discussing this brilliant article posted on The Awl that dreams of a McWorld in Times Square that would provide a global McDonald’s experience. You should read it immediately: http://www.theawl.com/2013/01/giant-mcdonalds-times-square

Additionally, we start off with some snow talk, debating the difference between a Snowmageddon and a Snowpocalypse while decrying the shoddy treatment of local TV weathermen whenever a B-list celebrity drops by.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we actually use for our newsletters. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

Feb 4, 2013

This week Tom receives more mail from the local cemetery and has a run-in with a conspiracy theorist on the subway, leading to a frank discussion about the Illuminati and immortality. Also Tim explains how he doesn't like people who love science, but wouldn't mind donating his body to it as long as he can make sure it isn't used to scare children after he's dead.

On the subject of McDonalds the guys discuss promotional menus, "eating" a milkshake, Grilled Onion Chedder burgers, Fish McBites, McRib, Shamrock Shake, the origins of the McRib, Hulu burgers and Tim's run in with his McDonalds employee crush from 15 years ago. Before they wrap up they also take a moment to solve a problem with a woman who doesn't want her boyfriend asking her parents to marry her.

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